This week's Federalist Patriot headlines...
James Taranto's Newspulper Headlines...The Hagel Campaign Gets Under Way: "Neb. Residents Plagued by Gibberish Calls"
—Associated PressOh, How Smashing!: "Picasso Pottery to Go Under Hammer at London Auction in October"
—Agence France-PresseWhat Would School Kids Do Without Experts?: "Experts Say It's Important for School Kids to Eat Healthy"
—NY1 Web site (New York)A New Twist on Evolution: "Theory: Mad Cow May Have Come From Humans"
—Associated Press