never mind...
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Have some James Taranto, please...
First in War, First in Peace, First in Sensitivity Training
"Washington Enters Therapy After Gay Slur"--headline, Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Ind.), Jan. 25
'We Can Work It Out, We Can Work It Out'
"Song in Beijing to Boost Mood for Nuke Talks"--headline, Korea Times, Jan. 25
'He Didn't Tell Me My Finger Was Loaded!'
"Lawyers Point Fingers in Fatal Shooting"--headline, Denver Post, Jan. 25
They Can Put a Man on the Moon, but . . .
"Scientists Can't Get Sloth to Move"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 24
Our Guess: Gravity
"Garner Tells How Ring Fell Into a Drain"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 24
Or Maybe Not
"Future of Pfizer Plant Could Be Good or Bad"--headline, Ann Arbor (Mich.) News, Jan. 24
News You Can Use
"NEW JERSEY: Don't Eat the Squirrels, State Warns"--headline, Courier News (Bridgewater, N.J.), Jan. 25
"Never Give an Iguana Viagra"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 25
Bottom Stories of the Day
"Boy, 6, Abruptly Leaves School Without Coat"--headline, KMBC-TV Web site (Kansas City), Jan. 23
"Police Won't Use $140 Million Radio System"--headline, New York Times, Jan. 25
"School District Wants Its Money"--headline, Chicago Sun-Times, Jan. 25
"Sarandon Bored by Bush's Iraq Pitch"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 24
"Cheney: Hillary Wouldn't Make Good President"--headline, NewsMax.com, Jan. 24 ¶ 9:57 AM
"Washington Enters Therapy After Gay Slur"--headline, Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Ind.), Jan. 25
'We Can Work It Out, We Can Work It Out'
"Song in Beijing to Boost Mood for Nuke Talks"--headline, Korea Times, Jan. 25
'He Didn't Tell Me My Finger Was Loaded!'
"Lawyers Point Fingers in Fatal Shooting"--headline, Denver Post, Jan. 25
They Can Put a Man on the Moon, but . . .
"Scientists Can't Get Sloth to Move"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 24
Our Guess: Gravity
"Garner Tells How Ring Fell Into a Drain"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 24
Or Maybe Not
"Future of Pfizer Plant Could Be Good or Bad"--headline, Ann Arbor (Mich.) News, Jan. 24
News You Can Use
"NEW JERSEY: Don't Eat the Squirrels, State Warns"--headline, Courier News (Bridgewater, N.J.), Jan. 25
"Never Give an Iguana Viagra"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 25
Bottom Stories of the Day
"Boy, 6, Abruptly Leaves School Without Coat"--headline, KMBC-TV Web site (Kansas City), Jan. 23
"Police Won't Use $140 Million Radio System"--headline, New York Times, Jan. 25
"School District Wants Its Money"--headline, Chicago Sun-Times, Jan. 25
"Sarandon Bored by Bush's Iraq Pitch"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 24
"Cheney: Hillary Wouldn't Make Good President"--headline, NewsMax.com, Jan. 24 ¶ 9:57 AM
Thursday, January 25, 2007
It's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your parrot is?
Man arrested for smuggling 500 parrots in a car
Tue Jan 23, 8:21 AM ET
ALMATY, Jan 23 (Reuters Life!) - Kazakh border guards arrested a man trying to smuggle 500 parrots in his car from neighbouring Uzbekistan, media reported on Tuesday.
"Border guards discovered a live cargo of 500 parrots in his car," Kazakhstan Today news agency quoted a KNB security service official as saying. ¶ 5:18 PM
Tue Jan 23, 8:21 AM ET
ALMATY, Jan 23 (Reuters Life!) - Kazakh border guards arrested a man trying to smuggle 500 parrots in his car from neighbouring Uzbekistan, media reported on Tuesday.
"Border guards discovered a live cargo of 500 parrots in his car," Kazakhstan Today news agency quoted a KNB security service official as saying. ¶ 5:18 PM
BBC News
A man accused of trying to hijack a plane flying from Botswana to South Africa was only armed with an asthma inhaler and lip balm, SABC radio says.
He allegedly tried to force his way into the cockpit of the Air Botswana plane and threatened to detonate a bomb he said he was carrying.
Police spokesman Vish Naidoo said the would-be hijacker was "armed with two items but they posed no real threat." ¶ 2:00 PM
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Dumbest Move of the Week...so far
Aliens ask wrong people in van about work
By Natasha Altamirano
THE WASHINGTON TIMES
January 24, 2007
BALTIMORE -- Federal agents taking a break from an unrelated assignment yesterday arrested 24 illegal aliens at a Fells Point 7-Eleven after the men attempted to solicit "underground" employment from the agents. ¶ 3:48 PM
By Natasha Altamirano
THE WASHINGTON TIMES
January 24, 2007
BALTIMORE -- Federal agents taking a break from an unrelated assignment yesterday arrested 24 illegal aliens at a Fells Point 7-Eleven after the men attempted to solicit "underground" employment from the agents. ¶ 3:48 PM
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Taranto headlines...
'You've Been Robbed'
"Crime Victims Need Notification"--headline, Paris (Texas) News, Jan. 16
Rowdiness? At a Hockey Game?
"Police Probe Rowdiness at Hockey Game"--headline, Boston Globe, Jan. 17
That Makes Him a Sad Panda
"Male Panda Said Too Fat to Have Sex"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 16
We'd Forgotten How Bad Thought Was
"Amnesia Is Worse Than Thought"--headline, United Press International, Jan. 16
Bottom Stories of the Day:
"Wisconsin Firefighters Rescue Cat"--headline, Firehouse.com, Jan. 17
"Jackson Takes No Action on Measure to End Nuisances"--headline, Huntsvlile (Ala.) Times, Jan. 12
"Iranian Leaders Speak Out Against US"--headline, Financial Times, Jan. 15 ¶ 9:24 AM
"Crime Victims Need Notification"--headline, Paris (Texas) News, Jan. 16
Rowdiness? At a Hockey Game?
"Police Probe Rowdiness at Hockey Game"--headline, Boston Globe, Jan. 17
That Makes Him a Sad Panda
"Male Panda Said Too Fat to Have Sex"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 16
We'd Forgotten How Bad Thought Was
"Amnesia Is Worse Than Thought"--headline, United Press International, Jan. 16
Bottom Stories of the Day:
"Wisconsin Firefighters Rescue Cat"--headline, Firehouse.com, Jan. 17
"Jackson Takes No Action on Measure to End Nuisances"--headline, Huntsvlile (Ala.) Times, Jan. 12
"Iranian Leaders Speak Out Against US"--headline, Financial Times, Jan. 15 ¶ 9:24 AM
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
The hope of audacity...
Experienced need not apply...
Obama takes first step in White House bid
By Christi Parsons
Chicago Tribune
Washington Bureau
Published January 16, 2007, 9:37 AM CST ¶ 10:33 AM
Obama takes first step in White House bid
By Christi Parsons
Chicago Tribune
Washington Bureau
Published January 16, 2007, 9:37 AM CST ¶ 10:33 AM
Friday, January 12, 2007
Perhaps it was to keep the Big Bad Wolf out...
Three Pigs Trigger Fire in Rural Serbia
Jan 10, 8:56 PM EST
BELGRADE, Serbia (AP) -- A farmer's home in northern Serbia was destroyed in a blaze caused by three pigs that broke out of their pen, walked into the living room and knocked over the TV, police said Wednesday.
The television tube burst, starting a fire that spread through the house late Monday in Temerin, 50 miles, northwest of Belgrade, local police said.
No people were hurt, but the pigs perished.
The farmer was out at the time, police said. ¶ 11:23 AM
Jan 10, 8:56 PM EST
BELGRADE, Serbia (AP) -- A farmer's home in northern Serbia was destroyed in a blaze caused by three pigs that broke out of their pen, walked into the living room and knocked over the TV, police said Wednesday.
The television tube burst, starting a fire that spread through the house late Monday in Temerin, 50 miles, northwest of Belgrade, local police said.
No people were hurt, but the pigs perished.
The farmer was out at the time, police said. ¶ 11:23 AM
Monday, January 08, 2007
Some headlines from James Taranto...
News You Can Use
"Dodging Traffic a Risky Undertaking"--headline, Argus Leader (Sioux Falls, S.D.), Jan. 6
"Losing Job Will Make It Hard to Pay Off Mortgages"--headline, Daily Herald (suburban Chicago), Jan. 7
Bottom Stories of the Day
"Chirac Blasts U.S.-Led Invasion of Iraq"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 5
"Barrymore Wants Everybody to Lighten Up"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 5
"Artist Hopes to Float Giant Banana Over Texas"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 7
"Democrats Consider Raising Taxes"--headline, Star Tribune (Minneapolis), Jan. 7
"Canadian Actors Strike Set to Take Effect"--headline, Reuters/Hollywood Reporter, Jan. 8
"Dog Bite Victim Won't Need Shots"--headline, WCAX-TV Web site (Burlington, Vt.), Jan. 7 ¶ 8:59 PM
"Dodging Traffic a Risky Undertaking"--headline, Argus Leader (Sioux Falls, S.D.), Jan. 6
"Losing Job Will Make It Hard to Pay Off Mortgages"--headline, Daily Herald (suburban Chicago), Jan. 7
Bottom Stories of the Day
"Chirac Blasts U.S.-Led Invasion of Iraq"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 5
"Barrymore Wants Everybody to Lighten Up"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 5
"Artist Hopes to Float Giant Banana Over Texas"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 7
"Democrats Consider Raising Taxes"--headline, Star Tribune (Minneapolis), Jan. 7
"Canadian Actors Strike Set to Take Effect"--headline, Reuters/Hollywood Reporter, Jan. 8
"Dog Bite Victim Won't Need Shots"--headline, WCAX-TV Web site (Burlington, Vt.), Jan. 7 ¶ 8:59 PM
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Headline time...from James Taranto...
That's Not the Sort of Thing You Forget
"Justice Appointed by Ford Remembers the Late President"--headline, ABCNews.com, Jan. 2
They Still Blow Up When You Step on Them
"U.S. Mines Still Not Safe Enough, Experts Say"--headline, MSNBC.com, Jan. 2
Very Cold, 100% Chance of Darkness
"Scientist Works to Predict Space Weather"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2
This Just In
"Binge Drinking Rampant Among College Students"--headline, HealthDay.com, Jan. 2
News You Can Use:
"Programmers to Blame for Hard-to-Use Software"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 2
"In Kidnapping, Finesse Works Best"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 1
Bottom Stories of the Day:
"Roofer Moves From Toronto to Indy"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Jan. 2
"Unidentified Goat Found"--headline, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Jan. 2
"Straw Goat Survives Christmas Unharmed"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2
"Doherty and Moss 'Not Married' "--headline, Courier-Mail (Queensland, Australia), Jan. 3 ¶ 5:15 PM
"Justice Appointed by Ford Remembers the Late President"--headline, ABCNews.com, Jan. 2
They Still Blow Up When You Step on Them
"U.S. Mines Still Not Safe Enough, Experts Say"--headline, MSNBC.com, Jan. 2
Very Cold, 100% Chance of Darkness
"Scientist Works to Predict Space Weather"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2
This Just In
"Binge Drinking Rampant Among College Students"--headline, HealthDay.com, Jan. 2
News You Can Use:
"Programmers to Blame for Hard-to-Use Software"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 2
"In Kidnapping, Finesse Works Best"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 1
Bottom Stories of the Day:
"Roofer Moves From Toronto to Indy"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Jan. 2
"Unidentified Goat Found"--headline, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Jan. 2
"Straw Goat Survives Christmas Unharmed"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2
"Doherty and Moss 'Not Married' "--headline, Courier-Mail (Queensland, Australia), Jan. 3 ¶ 5:15 PM
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
The winner of the December 2006 "Keen Sense of the Obvious Award" is...
...Villa Park Police Detective Ed Zorich:
Trailer full of broccoli disappears
Thu Dec 28, 3:13 PM ET
VILLA PARK, Ill. - Someone got way more than the recommended daily serving of vegetables when a refrigerated trailer loaded with $50,000 worth of broccoli was stolen.
The 48-foot trailer disappeared from its rented parking space in the Chicago suburb of Villa Park sometime between Sunday and Tuesday morning, police said.
Detective Ed Zorich said the thief was probably after the trailer, not the vegetables. ¶ 1:37 PM
Trailer full of broccoli disappears
Thu Dec 28, 3:13 PM ET
VILLA PARK, Ill. - Someone got way more than the recommended daily serving of vegetables when a refrigerated trailer loaded with $50,000 worth of broccoli was stolen.
The 48-foot trailer disappeared from its rented parking space in the Chicago suburb of Villa Park sometime between Sunday and Tuesday morning, police said.
Detective Ed Zorich said the thief was probably after the trailer, not the vegetables. ¶ 1:37 PM
