Taranto's headlines...

What Would My Bum Do Without Experts?
"Does My Bum Look Big in This? Now You Can Ask the Experts!"--headline, Evening Times (Glasgow, Scotland), Dec. 27

The Bar Owner Wasn't Using It Anyway
"Christian Attorney Hails Judge's Decision to Throw Out Nude Bar Owner's Suit"--headline, Agape Press, Dec. 23

Sounds Like Quite a Slap
"French Hand, Face Transplant Patients Meet"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 23

Bottom Story of the Day
"Authorities Say Bird Wasn't Cause of Oprah Plane Mishap"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 28

Isn't It Too Late by Then?
"Rail Operator Begs Motorists to Take Care After Death"--headline, New Zealand Herald, Dec. 24

What Would Most Kids Do Without Pediatricians?
"Most Kids Will Outgrow Bedwetting: Pediatricians"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 26

She Has Her Maternal Grandmother's White Hair
"Sheep Part of Ancestry of Association Leader"--healdine, Billings (Mont.) Gazette, Dec. 27

Drunkenness, However, Has Been Known to Cure Work
"No Evidence That Hangover Cures Work"--headline, Daily Times (Lahore, Pakistan), Dec. 25  ¶ 5:17 PM