James Taranto's headlines...

It's Still 100%
"Screening for Prostate Cancer May Not Reduce Men's Risk of Death"--headline, press release, Yale University, Jan. 9

Helping the Enemy
"Turkey Moves to Save Poultry Industry"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 14

Causing Columbus More Embarrassment Than Pain
"Chinese Eunuch May Have Beaten Columbus"--headline, Ananova.com, Jan. 13

Thanks for the Tip!--XXXVIII
"Health Tip: Don't Let a Stroke Hinder All Activities"--headline, HealthDayNews, Jan. 16

Bottom Story of the Day
"Argentina Advances Partial Opening of Squid Season"--headline, Mercopress (Montevideo, Uruguay), Jan. 13  ¶ 4:59 PM