Today's contribution of James Taranto headlines...

But Only Among Little Green Men
"Cocoa May Help Reduce Heart Disease, Cancer, Mars Study Shows"--headline, Bloomberg.com, Feb. 9

Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
"Bullied Mice Show Brain Reacts to Stress"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 9

Global Warming Strikes Again
"Lion and Llama Freeze to Death in Macedonia Zoo"--headline, PlanetArk.com, Feb. 10

Brokebeak Mountain
"Germany's Gay Zoo Penguins Still Fending Off Female Advances"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Feb. 8

Senate Dems Imitate the Beatles

"If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
"If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
"If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
"If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet."
--"Taxman" by George Harrison, 1966

"Senate Dems Propose, Endorse Tax on Water Use"--headline, Times (Trenton, N.J.), Feb. 10

Achoo! Thanks for the Tip--XLVI
"Health Tip: Avoid the Common Cold"--headline, HealthDayNews, Feb. 10

You Don't Say
"A Strong Marriage Can Help Create a Happy Family"--headline, Ithaca (N.Y.) Journal, Feb. 10

Bottom Story of the Day
"Anti-War Mom Sheehan Will Not Run for Senate"--headline, Reuters, Feb. 9  ¶ 9:16 PM