Today's double dose of James Taranto...

We Suppose Anything Would Have Been an Improvement
"Madonna Better After Horse Accident"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 27

Put Some Clothes On!
"We Should Not Condone Naked Lawyer-Bashing"--headline, Scotsman, Feb. 28

Better Than a Clown Suit
"Circus Company Goes on Trial in Spy Suit"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 27

Will a Small Businessman Step Up?
"Giant Executive Stepping Down"--headline, Baltimore Sun, Feb. 28

Is Indonesia Really That Bad?
"Muslim Terrorist Sentenced to Life in Indonesia"--headline, Jerusalem Post, Feb. 27

Thanks for the Tip!
"Health Tip: Exercise Is Good for You"--headline, HealthDayNews, Feb. 20

Bottom Story of the Day
"Witnesses Reported Seeing Nothing Unusual . . ."--headline, Reuters, Feb. 27  ¶ 4:29 PM