Headlines from James Taranto...

What Would We Do Without Experts?
"Experts: Effect of Cohabitation Ruling Remains Unclear"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 14

What Would We Do Without Former Teachers?
"Former Teacher: Sex With Pupil 'Really Bad Choice' "--headline, CNN.com, Sept. 13

¿Qué Haríamos sin Estudios?
"Study Says English Is Alive, Well"--headline, Houston Chronicle, Sept. 14

The Wet Look
"Ex-CIA Official Plame Sues Armitage in Leak Suit"--headline, Reuters, Sept. 13

Why Would They Need Help Floundering?
"Efforts to Help Obese Children Floundering"--headline, MSNBC.com, Sept. 13

He Wants a Jury of His Deers?
"Defendant Seeks Delay Because Deer Season Could Reduce Jury Pool"--headline, WPTY-TV Web site (Memphis, Tenn.), Sept. 13

Bottom Stories of the Day:

"Giant Spider Invades Tallmadge Family's Porch"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 13

"Minister Advises Boy to Study"--headline, Mumbai (India) Mirror, Sept. 13

"BMW Proves to Be Sustainable Business"--headline, Greenville (S.C.) News, Sept. 13  ¶ 6:50 PM