James Taranto's headlines...

Someone Alert the Police
"Sexually Violent Predator Meeting Planned"--headline, Rocky Mountain News (Denver), Sept. 5

Sounds Like Entrapment
"Police Hoping to Expose Serial Flasher"--headline, KYW-TV Web site (Philadelphia), Sept. 5

He Won't Pay Till He's Sure All the Charges Are His
"Frist Still Seeks Internet Gambling Bill: Aides"--headline, Reuters, Sept. 5

Half of All Nonmigrants, Too
"Women 'Form Half of All Migrants' "--headline, BBC Web site, Sept. 6

'They Can't Even Pronounce Their L's!'
"US Envoy Says NKorea Talks in Bad Way"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Sept. 6

An Educated Guess: You Eat It
"Scientists Probe How Protein Staves Off Hunger"--headline, CBC News (Canada), Sept. 5

Just Don't Call Him 'Tiny'
"NAVAL BLOCKADE: 9 Warships Seal Off Sulu"--headline, Tempo (Philippines), Sept. 7

Bottom Stories of the Day:

"Man's Body Found in Des Moines Cemetery"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 4

"Last First Day of School Not an Issue"--headline, Wausau (Wis.) Daily Herald, Sept. 6

"Albanian Hemp Growers See Project Threatened"--headline, Financial Times, Sept. 5

"Stingrays 'Not a Big Issue' in Delaware"--headline, News Journal (Wilmington, Del.), Sept. 5

"Congress Consumed by Politics"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 5  ¶ 5:35 PM