Headline goodies from James Taranto...

News You Can Use

"Court Says Nude Dancing, Booze Don't Mix"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Oct. 6

"Crocs Can Pose a Danger on Escalators"--headline, ABCNews.com, Oct. 5

"Be Advised, Hemorrhoid Cream Not for the Face"--headline, MSNBC.com, Oct. 5

Bottom Stories of the Day

"Lawyer: Client Didn't Deliberately Starve Cows"--headline, Naples (Fla.) News, Oct. 6

"Longoria Hurts Ribs on 'Housewives' Set"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 5

"Actress Sienna Miller Slights Pittsburgh"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 6  ¶ 7:24 PM