James Taranto's headlines...

What Would We Do Without Experts?
"Modern Buildings Are Complex--Experts"--headline, Tide (Port Harcourt, Nigeria), Oct. 27

What Would We Forgo Without Mental Health Experts?
"Forgo 'Psycho' Killers, Mental Health Experts Say"--headline, Portsmouth (N.H.) Herald, Oct. 26

What Would We Do Without UCF Professors?
"UCF Professor Says No Such Thing as Ghosts"--headline, WDBO-AM Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Oct. 26

Do Police Chases Normally Cheer People Up?
"Police Chase Depressed Driver"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Oct. 27

Bottom Stories of the Day:

"Fire Breaks Out at Salt Lake Crematorium"--headline, KTVX-TV Web site (Salt Lake City), Oct. 25

"Vegetarians Happy With IU Dining Halls"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Oct. 27

"Canada Post to Review 800,000 Rural Mailboxes"--headline, CBC.ca, Oct. 27

"LA Times Editor Says He Considered Resigning After Publisher's Ouster"--headline, MSNBC.com, Oct. 2  ¶ 12:35 PM