Some headlines from James Taranto...

So a Guy Walks Into a Bar and Gets Shot
"Authorities Seek Gunman After Victim Shot by Bar"--headline, Times (Trenton, N.J.), Nov. 15

Or at Least Draw a Mustache on It
"Senators Urged to Add Teeth to FDA Bill"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16

It Doesn't Get a Lot of Repeat Business, Though
"Youth Suicide Program Works: Study"--headline, Australian, Nov. 17

This Seems an Odd Pick
"Civil Rights Institute to Honor Cotton"--headline, Birmingham (Ala.) News, Nov. 17

News You Can Use
"Careful Where You Choose to Consummate Your Love"--headline, FoxNews.com, Nov. 16

Bottom Stories of the Day:

"Ricky Martin Not Joining Adoption Craze"--headline, United Press International, Nov. 16

"Area Avoids Tornado"--headline, Times (Trenton, N.J.), Nov. 17

"Library Says It Hasn't Received Patriot Act Requests"--headline, Daily Princetonian (Princeton University), Nov. 17  ¶ 8:03 PM