James Taranto's headlines...

A Bloodhound Might Be More Effective
"Police Hunt Bank Robber With Chipped Tooth"--headline, WKMG-TV Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Jan. 24

But It May Rumple Your Clothes
"Sex Calms Nerves Before Public Speaking--Study"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 25

Thanks for the Tip!--XL
"Health Tip: Brush Your Teeth, Help Your Heart"--headline, HealthDayNews, Jan. 25

Bottom Story of the Day
"Sewer Malfunction Causes Nasty Smell"--headline, Let's Eat Mites!, Jan. 25  ¶ 9:16 PM

  What's the news here?

That Bill Gates was wrong or that this Keizer guy is up for a Keen Sense of the Obvious Award? And "most" email experts? You mean there's an email "expert" somewhere who thinks we've solved the spam problem????

January 24, 2006

Bill Gates Was Wrong About 'Solving' Spam

By Gregg Keizer Courtesy of TechWeb News

Two years ago Tuesday, Bill Gates predicted that spam would be a "solved" problem by now, a prognostication that, say most e-mail experts, was as off-base as most of Nostradamus' forecasts.

Jan. 24, 2004, Gates told a group at the World Economic Forum that "two years from now, spam will be solved." During the talk, Gates pinned his prediction on the creation of an authentication scheme to verify senders' identities, as well as the hope that some kind of micropayment structure could be created for levying fees on e-mail.  ¶ 8:56 AM

  James Taranto's headlines...

What Would Accompany Cheese Without Experts?
"Use Ropey Old Plonk to Accompany Cheese, Experts Suggest"--headline, Guardian (London), Jan. 19

By Paying the Mortgage?
"Experts Tell How to Cut Foreclosures"--headline, Charlotte Observer, Jan. 18

It's Called 'Water'
"Study Finds Fire Retardant in Great Lakes"--headline, United Press International, Jan. 14

Only Because They Didn't Look Anywhere Else
"Students Find Housing On and Off Campus"--headline, Daily Texan (University of Texas at Austin), Jan. 18

Maybe July 4?
"Nintendo Sez Revolution Due in the US Before Thanksgiving"--headline, Engadget.com, Jan. 19

They Attend a Very Strict Church
"Two Women Charged With Transporting Guns to Mass."--headline, Boston Globe, Jan. 19

So Much for the Headache Excuse
"Aspirin Benefits Depend on Sex"--headline, MyDNA.com, Jan. 18  ¶ 8:54 PM

  Taranto's headlines...

Hey, It Couldn't Hurt
"Japan Hopes Rocket Will Help Space Program"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 19

Can't Get a Date? Try This Approach.
"Deputy Finds Woman With Snake Around Neck"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 19

HealthDayNews Gets Scooped
"Beware, You Could Die of Heart Attack"--headline, Times (London), Jan. 20

Bottom Story of the Day
"GOP Contest Prompts Yawns Outside Beltway"--headline, Washington Post, Jan. 20  ¶ 8:21 PM

  A man with a plan...

One more good reason to lose weight
Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:57 AM ET

SYDNEY (Reuters) - A prisoner lost some 30 pounds so he could squeeze through a hole he chiseled in a brick wall and escape from a maximum security jail in Sydney.

Robert Cole, 36, who was serving time for stealing and assault, was being treated in the Long Bay prison hospital when he broke out of jail Tuesday night or early Wednesday morning.

New South Wales state Corrective Services deputy commissioner Ian McLean told reporters it appeared Cole had deliberately lost weight so he could slip through the crack in the wall.  ¶ 3:32 PM

  James Taranto's headlines...

It's Still 100%
"Screening for Prostate Cancer May Not Reduce Men's Risk of Death"--headline, press release, Yale University, Jan. 9

Helping the Enemy
"Turkey Moves to Save Poultry Industry"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 14

Causing Columbus More Embarrassment Than Pain
"Chinese Eunuch May Have Beaten Columbus"--headline, Ananova.com, Jan. 13

Thanks for the Tip!--XXXVIII
"Health Tip: Don't Let a Stroke Hinder All Activities"--headline, HealthDayNews, Jan. 16

Bottom Story of the Day
"Argentina Advances Partial Opening of Squid Season"--headline, Mercopress (Montevideo, Uruguay), Jan. 13  ¶ 4:59 PM

  Low fidelity, high fashion...

Check this out: clothes made from old cassette tape. All they need now is a faux fur collar made from dryer lint...  ¶ 9:51 PM

  2006 Darwin Award nominees now being accepted...

School vandal photocopies face for cops

Wed Jan 11, 9:51 AM ET

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - Vandals who broke into and wrecked a northern Mexican primary school over the Christmas holidays were thoughtful enough to leave the photocopied mug shot of one of their gang at the scene of the crime.

Mexican television showed a black-and-white print on Tuesday of the squashed, chubby face and hands of a young boy. The photocopy was made at the school in the northern city of Monterrey and left among smashed chairs and torn books.  ¶ 7:46 PM

  Long time, no Taranto...

He'll Wear Jersey No. XVI
"Pope to Enter NFL Draft"--headline, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Jan. 7

And We Thought Only the Saints Were Displaced
"Dolphins Displaced by Katrina Get New Home"--headline, MSNBC.com, Jan. 6

Tuxedo to File Formal Charges
"Brooklyn Suit Accuses Bank of Terror Ties"--headline, WINS-AM Web site (New York), Jan. 6

This Just In
"Digital Video Is Here to Stay"--headline, CNN.com, Jan. 9

Thanks for the Tip!--XXXIV
"Health Tip: Steer Clear of Trucks"--headline, HealthDayNews, Jan. 9

That's One Sick Bird
"Turkey Now Has 15 Cases of Human Bird Flu"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 9

You Don't Say
"Tiny House + Mom-in-Law = Big Problem"--headline, BankRate.com, Jan. 7

Stranger Than Fiction
What do the senior senator from Massachusetts and quadruple murderer Stanley "Tookie" Williams have in common? The Associated Press provides one answer:

Meet the latest children's author, Sen. Ted Kennedy, and his Portuguese Water Dog, Splash, his co-protagonist in "My Senator and Me: A Dogs-Eye View of Washington, D.C."

Scholastic Inc. will release the book in May.

So Ted Kennedy has a dog named Splash? How witty.

Mary Jo Kopechne's children could not be reached for comment.  ¶ 3:43 PM